The chapter of a Buckle of Carnelian

Papyrus of Ani: Chapter CLVI

The Ptolemaic geocentric model of the Universe according to the Portuguese cosmographer and cartographer Bartolomeu Velho (Bibliothèque Nationale de France, Paris).

At the end of the universe is a blood red cord that ties life to death, man to woman, will to destiny. Let the knot of that red sash, which cradles the hips of the goddess, bind in me the ends of life and dream. I am an old woman with more than my share of hopes and misgivings. Let my thoughts lie together in peace.

At my death let the bubbles of blood on my lips taste as sweet as berries. Give me not words of consolation. Give me magic, the fire of one beyond the borders of enchantment. Give me the spell of living well.

Do I lie on the floor of my house or within the temple? Is that hand that soothes me that of man or priestess? I rise and walk. The sky arcs ever around; the world spreads itself beneath my feet.

We are bound mind to Mind, heart to Heart -- no difference rises between the shadow of my footsteps and the will of god. I walk in harmony, heaven in one hand, earth in the other. I am the knot where the two worlds meet. Red magic curses through me like the blood of Isis, magic of magic, spirit of spirit.

I am proof of the power of god. I am water and dust walking.

⊕

From 'Awakening Osiri' from Papyrus of Ani, also known as 'The Spells of Coming Forth by Light' translated by Normandy Ellis (1988)

[Traditional translation of 'The Egyptian Book of the Dead' by E. A. Wallis Budge]

. 

musing

I suppose I could say that I am one of the lucky ones for whom the Diamond Thunderbolt instantaneously and involuntarily granted spiritual awakening. Abruptly it burst clear the path to intuitive insight, seemingly dispelling the need for external discipline.
.
Someone once said that there is a supreme difference between destiny and fate. Our destiny is to go through preordained changes. Our fate is how we choose to go through them. Faith is a matter of belief and you are what you believe in. Some of us don’t have much of a choice either way.

I constantly see possibilities layered all around me, and like a child in a kaleidoscopic candy store don’t know where to turn next, where to start exploring – I want it all! I want it now! This life so short, so much to see and do. I know that I must use it wisely before it is cast upon the beach of time. And yet, my indecision to chose a way, a path, feeds on a stifling fear that I may not choose the ‘right’ option. How can I be certain that the one I settle on will be the "correct one’’?! The fear is numbing, rendering my actions impotent. Barren.

But the path, unstoppable like spilled water, writhes and meanders to find its own way. And trials are but lessons that we failed to learn, presented once again. Not as punishment, but as a second chance, so that where we’ve made an ineffective choice before, we can now make a better one, and thus escape the pain that our previous choice had brought to us.

In the end, other than being the best I can be at whatever makes me happy, I'm not concerned. After all, the one thing I truly excel in, the one thing I excel in above everyone else, above all - is in being me!

.